hrmm

are my posts being read? I could have sworn I made everything private…

Restart

So…

The last couple of weeks were a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions for me. A lot of issues yet to be resolved, but a sort of realization crept up to me these past couple of days as I struggled to wrap my head around the basic concepts of the Level 3 CFA. Other words and events are being reflected on. One of the last things she told me was that she didn’t trust me. Why exactly? Because I was being unpredictably psycho.

I’m still a bit unpredictably psycho. I’m working on consistency here and reconciling between my disparate worlds. The likelihood of me becoming less unpredictably psycho around her – probably nil. Damn her and her ridiculously good intuition.

So, rollercoaster of a ride. Some hours getting close to tears, anger and frustration. Lately it seems to be at some stage between bargaining and acceptance. (I’m hinting at you, Kübler-Ross) I still want to bargain. 10 years of absence. Something tells me there is no bargaining.

Maybe I can’t be a good person to her, but I should work on being a good person to the people in my life and who I may meet in the future. I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better person to you.

Ctrl-Alt-Del

Restart

Impulsive late night letter drafting is probably not the best way to go.